Characteristics of asteriks and other celestial objects

Let's make a departure from the usual ho-hum drossy repertoire on flora, fauna, child-rearing, and precious metals... let's clog the future with something snappy. Not so much because of its eccentric orbit, Pluto's moon -- and companion -- Charon can boast having a similar origin. Discovered in 1978 by James Christy, Charon's vitals are as follows: diameter of 737 miles (1,186 km), distance from its lover 12,054 miles (19,400 km), and its surface is composed of frozen water (ice). These are facts. What is not a fact and is currently disputed is from where these two rogues came from... escapees from the Kuiper Belt? AWOL jarheads from Neptune's lunar system? Ancient devotees of the Venus of Hottentot? Star-crossed lovers on the lam? Whatever they are, one thing is for sure: this is not the Charon that will ferry you across the River Acheron. No, that Charon demands proper burial and ritual. That Charon's got bills to pay and he needs your people to place an obolus under your tongue for transportation fees. You wanna see the Underworld whilst you live and kick? Shit baby -- get on down to your local Cumaean Sibyl and get yourself a golden bough. Charon the Ferryman is the grandson of Chaos, the son of Erebus and Nyx, the last man standing.
Now, cuz sometimes we talk real fast and piggyback certain letters onto others and muddy up the communications, these two Charons are not to ever be confused with Chiron. Notice how the "i" can become an "a" -- avoid this little fuck up and enjoy life. Chiron has a dubious astrological nature. Is it a comet? Is it a celestial object? Is it a planetoid of the outer solar system? Is it an asteroid? Yes, no, and yes and no. We can call it Chiron, we can call it 2060 Chiron, and we can call it 95P/Chiron. But what we will never call it is: Chiron. As in Chiron "the Superlative" Centaur. Sometimes it's so hard to keep things separated. Sometimes it's easier to put it in the context of AU's so that your sure-cocked humanity doesn't make your head so big. Yet, sometimes it's easier to lose yourself in the placid rilles of your nearest satellite. Sometimes baby, you just ain't got no time.