Monday, May 08, 2006

MPV paper is a half-hour assassin


Multi-purpose Vector paper is ideal for home and office use. It should be the first brand to come to mind when using a laser printer, ink jet, high-speed copier, and fax machine. It, however, should not be used in kitchen/bathroom emergencies. Cardiopulmonary resuscitation. Gammahydroxybutyrate. How is it that what we keep does not substitute the buttery delight of a muffin? How do we recreate the feeling between the soft and hard palates? Full release will come when the straggling artifacts that hold you back are burned and offered as ash to the soil. E.M. Cioran made the whole vignette thing easy maybe because he spent a lifetime mining depression. How do I translate this "betterment" exercise from typing instruction and coming to grips with a world full of germs to waxing wantonly on all things important and worthy? When will I run free a few lines that won't climax epileptically on a question mark? But let's shake the bad thoughts out now. If the beast above were my best friend, it would be named Tahoma. Together we would use Vector paper when appropriate and barfly across the Magic City... letting the peaceful deaths in alleys pan out with grace and dignity.

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